Wow, great to hear from you Sarah! Glad to hear that you guys are planning on staying in Ontario. We definitely need to chat more. Gotta arrange an outing together.

Well what started out as a good day turned shitty really fast. And I mean that literally too. We never made it out for the planned walk. I screwed up and instead of filling in all the damn holes, here I am creating new ones. So add another one to fill and sand repeatedly. So in a bad mood cause of that, I come downstairs thinking that ok, got that done, just let me take a quick peek in on them and low and behold, they competely trashed the living room. Totally. All couch cushions were scattered on the floor. Toys were stuck in the bottom of the couches. Books strewn all over the place. Welcome to my hell.

By the time they finished cleaning up (in their own little way) it was too late for the walk. Figures. Been feeling all week like I shouldn't have gotten out of bed or at least not attempted to do anything. Bloody hell in a handbasket.

Of course this sets Maddy off, which in turn triggers Kenny. Oh the fun times we have here! A promise of a bath later manages to calm things down. So the quest for supper begins. Tuna noodle casserole, low fat version of course. And spinach salad with bacon bits, feta cheese and mandarin oranges with a light poppyseed dressing. Yummm. I actually like this stuff. Crazy.

Sarah that's where you step in. You heard all the fun! Bet you wish you were here!!!! Ha ha ha. Run girl!

Supper was typical. Kenny didn't eat. Drank a glass of milk and had an applesauce for dessert but that's it. Maddy ate hers, had seconds and wanted thirds! At least we don't have to worry about her starving.

Oh and you reminded me Sarah, I guess I haven't told everyone, I QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!!! Really honest to shit. I quit. October 3rd 2007. So 4 months is coming up quickly. I think I've shocked a few people. But hey, that's what I do best.

Geesh 20 to 9 and I'm ready to pass out. All is quiet upstairs. Tomorrow Kenny is in school (crossing fingers that the roads don't get closed again) and Maddy of course goes in the morning. Think I'll take that time to relax. Have a shower. Chill. Yeah right. Holes in walls.........here I come!

It's days like today that I have to remember when the bad times hit. Kenny helped me get him out of his snowsuit today! He tried really hard to do it by himself. He only asked for help to undo his scarf and get the coat off (zipper was stuck). Mitts, hat, snowpants and boots he did himself! HUGE HUGE HUGE!!! This is the Kenny I know. And this morning was nothing but hugs from him. That would have been great except he kicked me out of my bed at 3 am. He gets so little sleep that I just don't have the heart to wake him up again to move him back to his own bed. Much easier for me to move.

He is sitting watching Thomas the Tank Engine right now. Quiet, which is a good thing for me. I have so much work to do around the house it's not funny. I don't want to do it though cause well it's work. I'm lazy. Tired. Just want to sleep.

Yesterday was a bad day. Both of them had a horrible case of cabin fever. With Kenny fighting his cold and ear infections acting up again there was no way I was taking him out for anything yesterday. And now another storm is supposed to start tonight with more damn snow. When is this winter going to end???

Snickers is looking at me and wagging his tail. Wonder what he wants?

I'm getting the paperwork tomorrow from the daycare about the assessment. I know what's in it, so why am I not looking forward to reading it again. We are still waiting for the testing for the lead levels. Not a word on that. Maybe tomorrow I'll call the Dr to see if anything has come back. Good or bad, I gotta know.

Must keep him busy today, maybe after lunch I will take the two out for a walk. Work out some energy. Sometimes, that can help, believe it or not, with Kenny's sleep. I'll get 5-7 hrs instead of 3-5 before he wakes me up. Hmmmm , it's too bad that I'm so bloody exhausted. Anyone got a coffee?

Gonna have to learn sometime, right!

Wed January 30 2008;

Holy cow, I'm so not into the computer world yet. Hopefully soon I can rectify this.

For those that know, this is just a rant. For those that don't, Kenny has been going backwards in development since the fall. We are seeing a Ped, and trying to figure out what is up with him.

What is going on with Kenny. I'm just pulling out my hair trying to deal with him and the many conflicting problems he has. Like what the heck happened to the potty training! I just don't understand how he could go from trained with both pee and poop to having to put a diaper on him.

And what's with the grunting? Why is he doing that? He knows his words and how to express himself verbally. He's been doing it for ages. And the head shake/circle thing. That is so spooky to watch.

Lydia, from Trellis, and I had a meeting yesterday about Kenny and all the different strengths and weaknesses he has. I was going to get the paper's today, but because of the weather, that is not happening. Anyway, I'm just so confused about it. Even Lydia and his favourite teacher in the whole wide world, Miss Sarah, are confused about the signs he's giving.

The Ped is having us take him in for an EEG. Maybe it's seizures. Or maybe it's autism. Or maybe diabetes. Or maybe it's one of a thousand things that can go wrong with little children. Lead poisoning? Nothing? See what I mean. And the worst part is he can't tell us. We have to sit back and watch him go through a crapload of testing. It's killing me inside watching him get poked and prodded, not understanding what is going on and looking at me with that sad face.

Guess we will just have to wait. One day at a time. Damn it's hard.

As for Maddy, she is, well Maddy! My lovable, demanding, bossy 5 yr old that expects the world handed to her. Different issues with her but still, she is also driving me to the brink of craziness then does something that totally blows me away.

Tana called last night. Something about getting a computer for herself and school. Doorknob here told her to talk to her Dad (Rob) cause my opinion is pretty useless when it comes to computers and what does what. Now give me a camera, and I can tell you what that is about.

Lets see if I can keep my head above water for another day!